Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
