Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
