she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
