I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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