In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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