Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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