I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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