Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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