lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
