Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
