I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
