I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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