Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
