capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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