You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had to cum in my sink.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
