she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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