she smelled like a LAN party
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
