It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What a dumb baby whore.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
