I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
