we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
