absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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