just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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