found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
