I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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