I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
