I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
