i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
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Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC