Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
