Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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