Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
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i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
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I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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