I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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