I just saw a hot homeless man
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
