Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
