I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I still have a little drunk in my system
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
