Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
