he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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