wanna go halves on a baby?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
