You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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