So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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