Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
