This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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