they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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