apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
