I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
