thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
