I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
