I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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