we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
