After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
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i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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