you didnt know i had herpes?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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