for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
