This is not my ceiling
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
