As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
