we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
