Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I need mimosas to revive my soul
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize