have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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