Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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