Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize