so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
