goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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