Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
